The Antiquary by John Donne (Poem, Summary, Paraphrase, Analysis & Questions)

 

The Antiquary

by John Donne

(Poem, Summary, Paraphrase, Analysis & Questions) 

The Antiquary

If in the least of these my lawes you'le bide,

Your lips shall never sweare nor lie, nor chide.

If each of these be kept for one whole day,

Your children shall be drownd in milke, and play.

If each of these be kept a weeke, then this

Your teeth shall all be sound, your breath shall kisse.

If each of these be kept a month, then there

Is Venus’ selfe your servant, not your feare.

If each of these be kept a yeare, then why

Horses shall runne to death, to catch your eye.

But since I must be dead, and that you may

Kill me, be bold, but not too wise a way.

 

Summary

The speaker in the poem lays out a series of whimsical conditions or "laws" and the rewards for obeying them. The poem unfolds as a list of escalating promises tied to obedience over time.

First, the speaker offers a basic instruction: if the listener can obey even the least of these laws—specifically not to swear, lie, or scold—then they will be rewarded.

Reward: Their children will be healthy, happy, and carefree, symbolized by playing and drinking milk.

If the listener manages to obey for a week, the rewards become more personal.

Reward: Their teeth will remain healthy, and their breath will be pleasant enough to kiss.

If the obedience continues for a month, the reward becomes romantic.

Reward: Venus, the Roman goddess of love, will be at their service—not something to fear.

If they continue for a year, the promise becomes grand and somewhat humorous.

Reward: Horses will run themselves to death just to catch the listener’s eye, suggesting intense admiration or pursuit by others.

Finally, the speaker accepts the inevitability of death, and addresses the listener directly.

He says that when the time comes, they can be the one to kill him, but warns them to do it boldly—not in a way that’s too clever or complicated.

 

Line-by-line Paraphrase

If in the least of these my lawes you'le bide,

Paraphrase:

If you follow even the smallest of my rules,

 

Original:

Your lips shall never sweare nor lie, nor chide.

Paraphrase:

You will not curse, lie, or scold anyone with your words.

 

Original:

If each of these be kept for one whole day,

Paraphrase:

If you can follow all of these rules for just one full day,

 

Original:

Your children shall be drownd in milke, and play.

Paraphrase:

Your children will thrive with plenty (like being bathed in milk) and be carefree and playful.

 

Original:

If each of these be kept a weeke, then this

Paraphrase:

If you follow all these rules for a whole week,

 

Original:

Your teeth shall all be sound, your breath shall kisse.

Paraphrase:

You’ll have healthy teeth and fresh breath, good enough to kiss with.

 

Original:

If each of these be kept a month, then there

Paraphrase:

If you keep the rules for a month,

 

Original:

Is Venus’ selfe your servant, not your feare.

Paraphrase:

The goddess of love (Venus) will serve you instead of being someone to fear.

 

Original:

If each of these be kept a yeare, then why

Paraphrase:

If you manage to follow them for a whole year, then—

 

Original:

Horses shall runne to death, to catch your eye.

Paraphrase:

People (or admirers) will be so eager to attract your attention that their horses would run themselves to death.

 

Original:

But since I must be dead, and that you may

Paraphrase:

But since I will eventually die, and it’s possible you’ll be the cause,

 

Original:

Kill me, be bold, but not too wise a way.

Paraphrase:

Then go ahead and kill me—just be brave about it, not overly clever or sneaky.

 

Analysis in Detail

Overview & Tone

John Donne’s “The Antiquary” is a short, witty, and ironic poem. Though it appears to offer a list of moral commandments and rewards, the speaker’s exaggerated promises and playful tone suggest satire. The poem reads like a mock set of laws or rules, inviting the reader to reflect on moral behavior, self-restraint, and human vanity—especially the desire for reward in exchange for virtue.

Structure and Progression

The poem follows a conditional structure, where each set of lines builds upon the last. The conditions grow in duration (one day, one week, one month, one year), and the rewards become increasingly exaggerated and fantastical. This progression highlights the absurdity of transactional morality—the idea that virtue should always be rewarded in tangible or worldly ways.

Each section follows this pattern:

Condition (if you follow this rule for X time)

Reward (then you’ll receive this benefit)

The poem ends with a dramatic shift:

The speaker accepts his own mortality and makes a dark, ironic offer—telling the listener they can kill him, but “be bold” and not cunning.

 

Themes

1. Satire of Moral Formalism

The poem mocks the tendency to treat morality like a checklist or a set of outward rules. It playfully imagines rewards for minor acts of self-restraint, turning moral virtue into something bargainable, even trivial. This reflects Donne’s frequent criticism of superficial or hypocritical religiosity.

 

2. Human Desire for Rewards

Donne highlights how humans often expect rewards for good behavior, even for small acts like not lying or scolding. The rewards range from healthy children to fresh breath to the favor of Venus—clearly satirical in their exaggeration. This may critique both materialism and self-serving piety.

 

3. The Illusion of Control

The speaker suggests that by following certain “laws,” one can control outcomes—health, beauty, love, admiration. But in the final lines, death intrudes. The speaker acknowledges his mortality, undercutting the fantasy of perfect reward systems. This shift suggests that no amount of good behavior can save one from death—a central idea in Donne’s poetry.

 

4. Mockery of Antiquarian Obsession

While the title is “The Antiquary” (meaning someone who collects or reveres old things), the poem doesn’t refer directly to historical objects. Instead, it seems to ironize the idea of preserving outdated rules or customs for their own sake. The “laws” the speaker gives are arbitrary, almost absurd—perhaps a jab at those who idolize the past or moral codes without deeper thought.

 

Language and Imagery

Milk and play: Innocence and abundance, often used to signify the ideal upbringing.

Teeth and breath: Vanity and self-image—symbols of physical well-being and attractiveness.

Venus as servant: A bold inversion—love becomes submissive to the obedient moralist.

Horses running to death: Hyperbolic admiration; perhaps an ironic picture of how people chase vanity or beauty to extremes.

Killing the speaker: A jarring twist; adds a macabre, ironic close. It breaks the light tone and reminds us of mortality and futility.

 

Irony and Wit

Donne’s signature style is present throughout—clever, ironic, playful, yet underlined with serious existential themes. The poem operates almost like a fable, but with the moral turned on its head. The speaker seems to mock the very idea that virtue guarantees comfort, or that goodness can be measured by outward behavior alone.

 

Conclusion

“The Antiquary” is a compact poem full of irony and layered meaning. It moves from humorous moral instruction to deep reflection on mortality, human vanity, and the desire for reward. Donne uses wit and satire to question conventional morality, suggesting that living a good life for the sake of rewards is ultimately hollow—especially when death awaits all.

 

Possible Exam Questions

What conditions does the speaker set in “The Antiquary” for receiving rewards?

 

Name two rewards promised for obeying the speaker’s “laws.”

 

What does the speaker mean by “Your teeth shall all be sound”?

 

Who is Venus in the context of this poem, and what role does she play?

 

How does the tone of the poem change in the final two lines?

 

What is the significance of the title “The Antiquary”?

 

Identify one instance of exaggeration (hyperbole) used in the poem.

 

What is the reward for keeping the laws for a year?

 

Explain how John Donne uses satire in “The Antiquary.”

 

Discuss the structure of the poem and how it contributes to its overall meaning.

 

Describe the progression of rewards in the poem and their significance.

 

How does “The Antiquary” reflect human desires and moral vanity?

 

Evaluate the ending of the poem. How does it contrast with the rest of the poem?

 

Discuss the use of irony in “The Antiquary.”

 

How does Donne employ hyperbole (exaggeration) for satirical effect?

 

What role does imagery play in conveying the poem’s tone and message?

 

Examine the poem as a parody of moral instruction or religious rule-making.

 

How does Donne’s characteristic wit and abrupt tonal shift appear in this poem?