On His Mistress by John Donne (Poem, Summary, Paraphrase, Analysis & Questions)

 

On His Mistress

by John Donne

(Poem, Summary, Paraphrase, Analysis & Questions) 

On His Mistress

By our first strange and fatal interview,

By all desires which thereof did ensue,

By our long starving hopes, by that remorse

Which my words’ masculine persuasive force

Begot in thee, and by the memory

Of hurts which spies and rivals threatened me,

I calmly beg: but by thy father’s wrath,

By all pains which want and divorcement hath,

I conjure thee, and all the oaths which I

And thou have sworn to seal joint constancy,

Here I unswear, and overswear them thus,

Thou shalt not love by ways so dangerous.

Temper, O fair Love, love’s impetuous rage,

Be my true Mistress still, not my feign’d Page;

I’ll go, and by thy kind leave, leave behind

Thee, only worthy to nurse in my mind,

Thirst to come back; O if thou die before,

My soul from other lands to thee shall soar.

Thy (else Almighty) beauty cannot move

Rage from the seas, nor thy love teach them love,

Nor tame wild Boreas’ harshness; thou hast read

How roughly he in pieces shivered

Fair Oreithea, whom he swore he loved.

Fall ill or good, ’tis madness to have proved

Dangers unurg’d; feed on this flattery,

That absent lovers one in th’ other be.

Dissemble nothing, not a boy, nor change

Thy body’s habit, nor minds; be not strange

To thy self only; all will spy in thy face

A blushing womanly discovering grace;

Richly-clothed Apes are called Apes, and as soon

Eclipsed as bright; we call the Moon the Moon.

Men of France, changeable Chameleons,

Spittles of diseases, shops of fashions,

Love’s fuelers, and the rightest company

Of Players, which upon the world’s stage be,

Will quickly know thee, and no less, alas!

The indifferent Italian, as we pass

His warm land, well content to think thee Page,

Will hunt thee with such lust and hideous rage

As Lot’s fair guests were vexed. But none of these

Nor spongy hydroptic Dutch shall thee displease,

If thou stay here. O stay here, for thee

England is only a worthy Gallery

To walk in expectation till from thence

Our greatest King call thee to his presence.

When I am gone, dream me some happiness,

Nor let thy looks our long hid love confess,

Nor praise, nor dispraise me, nor bless nor curse

Openly love’s force; nor in bed fright thy Nurse

With midnight startings, crying out, “Oh, oh—

Nurse, O my love is slain, I saw him go

O’er the white Alps alone; I saw him, I,

Assail’d, fight, taken, stabbed, bleed, fall, and die.”

Augur me better chance, except dread Jove

Think it enough for me to have had thy love.

 

Summary

Opening Lines (1–6):

The speaker begins by recalling the first time he met his mistress—a strange and fateful encounter that led to strong desires and long, hope-filled courtship. He also remembers the emotional struggles they faced, including jealousy and the threat posed by rivals and spies.

 

Lines 7–10:

He gently pleads with her not to follow him, invoking serious oaths and past vows of fidelity. He "unswears" them now—not because he has stopped loving her, but because he fears for her safety if she accompanies him.

 

Lines 11–14:

He asks her to restrain the passionate and dangerous side of love. He wants her to remain his true love, not pretend to be something else (like a page boy) just to be near him.

 

Lines 15–18:

The speaker says goodbye but admits that he leaves behind a deep longing to return. He adds that even if she dies before he returns, his soul will fly from afar to be with her.

 

Lines 19–24:

He acknowledges her beauty and its power, but warns that even her charms cannot calm the seas or stop fierce winds. He references the myth of Boreas and Oreithea to show how beauty alone cannot protect someone from danger.

 

Lines 25–26:

He believes it would be madness to face such dangers without necessity. Instead, he suggests they feed on the flattery that lovers can remain one in spirit even while apart.

 

Lines 27–30:

He warns her not to pretend to be a boy (a page), nor to change her appearance or inner self. Her face will still reveal her feminine grace, and others will recognize her true identity.

 

Lines 31–34:

Even if she dresses up like a boy, people will still see her for what she is—just as a disguised ape is still an ape and the Moon is still called the Moon even when it's covered.

 

Lines 35–38:

He speaks harshly of French men—calling them diseased, fashionable, and deceptive—and says they will quickly see through her disguise.

 

Lines 39–42:

The same is true of the Italians, who, he warns, will be driven by lust if they think she is vulnerable. He compares this threat to the danger Lot’s guests faced in the Bible.

 

Lines 43–44:

Even the Dutch (referred to as “spongy hydroptic,” meaning bloated or greedy) won’t treat her well if she travels abroad.

 

Lines 45–48:

He pleads with her to stay in England, which he considers a safe and noble place for her to wait until the king (likely referring to God or a noble authority) calls her into his presence.

 

Lines 49–54:

Once he is gone, he asks her to imagine him happy—not to reveal their love, speak openly about him, or let anyone know their private relationship. She should avoid drawing attention to herself or their bond.

 

Lines 55–60:

He warns her not to scare her nurse by waking up at night crying out about visions of his death in battle or imagining him alone in dangerous foreign lands.

 

Closing Lines (61–62):

He ends with a hopeful tone, asking her to pray for his safety and wish for better fortune, unless the gods have decided that loving her was the greatest blessing he was ever meant to have.

 

Line-by-line Paraphrase

1. By our first strange and fatal interview,

By the strange and fateful way we first met,

 

2. By all desires which thereof did ensue,

And by all the desires that followed from it,

 

3. By our long starving hopes, by that remorse

By our long period of hoping without fulfillment, and by the regret

 

4. Which my words’ masculine persuasive force

That came from my strong and persuasive speech,

 

5. Begot in thee, and by the memory

Which caused you to feel guilty—and by the memory

 

6. Of hurts which spies and rivals threatened me,

Of the pain I faced from jealous spies and rivals,

 

7. I calmly beg: but by thy father’s wrath,

I humbly ask you now, but more strongly—by your father’s anger,

 

8. By all pains which want and divorcement hath,

And by all the suffering caused by separation and need,

 

9. I conjure thee, and all the oaths which I

I plead with you, and take back all the oaths I once

 

10. And thou have sworn to seal joint constancy,

Swore with you to confirm our shared loyalty,

 

11. Here I unswear, and overswear them thus,

I now take back those oaths and replace them with new ones,

 

12. Thou shalt not love by ways so dangerous.

You must not love me in such risky and dangerous ways.

 

13. Temper, O fair Love, love’s impetuous rage,

Dear beautiful love, calm down love’s wild passion,

 

14. Be my true Mistress still, not my feign’d Page;

Remain my true lover, not someone pretending to be a servant boy.

 

15. I’ll go, and by thy kind leave, leave behind

I’ll go on my journey, with your blessing, and leave behind

 

16. Thee, only worthy to nurse in my mind,

You—who are the only one worthy to live in my thoughts,

 

17. Thirst to come back; O if thou die before,

And my deep longing to return. But if you die before me,

 

18. My soul from other lands to thee shall soar.

My soul will fly back to you from wherever I am.

 

19. Thy (else Almighty) beauty cannot move

Even your almost divine beauty cannot stop

 

20. Rage from the seas, nor thy love teach them love,

The fury of the sea, nor can your love make them peaceful.

 

21. Nor tame wild Boreas’ harshness; thou hast read

Nor can it tame the roughness of Boreas (the north wind); you’ve read

 

22. How roughly he in pieces shivered

How violently he tore apart

 

23. Fair Oreithea, whom he swore he loved.

The beautiful Oreithea, though he claimed to love her.

 

24. Fall ill or good, ’tis madness to have proved

Whether the outcome is good or bad, it’s crazy to take

 

25. Dangers unurg’d; feed on this flattery,

Unnecessary risks. Instead, take comfort in the flattering idea

 

26. That absent lovers one in th’ other be.

That true lovers remain united even when apart.

 

27. Dissemble nothing, not a boy, nor change

Don’t pretend to be something you’re not—not a boy, nor

 

28. Thy body’s habit, nor minds; be not strange

Change how you dress or think. Don’t be untrue

 

29. To thy self only; all will spy in thy face

To yourself. People will still see from your face

 

30. A blushing womanly discovering grace;

Your shy, feminine grace will reveal your identity.

 

31. Richly-clothed Apes are called Apes, and as soon

Even richly dressed apes are still seen as apes,

 

32. Eclipsed as bright; we call the Moon the Moon.

And we still call the Moon by its name, even when it’s hidden.

 

33. Men of France, changeable Chameleons,

French men—who are like changing chameleons,

 

34. Spittles of diseases, shops of fashions,

Full of disease and obsessed with the latest fashion,

 

35. Love’s fuelers, and the rightest company

They’re driven by lust and are the perfect companions

 

36. Of Players, which upon the world’s stage be,

For the kind of actors (or flirts) on life’s stage,

 

37. Will quickly know thee, and no less, alas!

They’ll quickly recognize you for who you are, and sadly,

 

38. The indifferent Italian, as we pass

So will the cold and indifferent Italians, when we pass by

 

39. His warm land, well content to think thee Page,

Through their hot country, where they’ll pretend to believe you're a boy (page),

 

40. Will hunt thee with such lust and hideous rage

But they will pursue you with lust and dangerous desire

 

41. As Lot’s fair guests were vexed. But none of these

Like how Lot’s beautiful guests were attacked. But none of these men,

 

42. Nor spongy hydroptic Dutch shall thee displease,

Nor the bloated, greedy Dutch, will leave you in peace,

 

43. If thou stay here. O stay here, for thee

Unless you stay here. Oh, stay here, because

 

44. England is only a worthy Gallery

England is the only place worthy to be a gallery

 

45. To walk in expectation till from thence

Where you can wait patiently until

 

46. Our greatest King call thee to his presence.

Our great King (possibly God) calls you to His presence.

 

47. When I am gone, dream me some happiness,

When I’m away, imagine me as happy,

 

48. Nor let thy looks our long hid love confess,

And don’t let your expression reveal our secret love,

 

49. Nor praise, nor dispraise me, nor bless nor curse

Don’t speak about me—neither praising nor blaming,

 

50. Openly love’s force; nor in bed fright thy Nurse

Don’t speak openly about the power of love; and don’t scare your nurse

 

51. With midnight startings, crying out, “Oh, oh—

By waking at night and crying out, “Oh no—

 

52. Nurse, O my love is slain, I saw him go

Nurse, my lover is dead—I saw him go

 

53. O’er the white Alps alone; I saw him, I,

Alone across the snowy Alps. I saw him—yes, I—

 

54. Assail’d, fight, taken, stabbed, bleed, fall, and die.”

Attacked, fight bravely, captured, stabbed, bleeding, fall, and die.”

 

55. Augur me better chance, except dread Jove

Instead, wish for better fortune for me—unless great Jupiter

 

56. Think it enough for me to have had thy love.

Believes that loving you was already the greatest reward I could ever have.

 

Analysis in Detail

Overview and Tone

John Donne’s “Elegy: 16. On His Mistress” is a poem of parting—yet it is not a typical love elegy marked only by sorrow. Instead, it blends urgency, rational persuasion, and anxious affection. The speaker pleads with his lover not to follow him on a dangerous journey, masking his concern under a tone that moves between loving tenderness and passionate caution. The title “On His Mistress” might suggest sensuality, but the actual poem focuses more on emotional depth, vulnerability, and the reality of external threats to their relationship.

 

Theme 1: Love versus Danger

At the core of the poem is the conflict between love and danger. The speaker warns his mistress against joining him, possibly disguised as a boy (a common literary trope in Renaissance literature), fearing for her safety in a foreign, lustful, and morally questionable world. He sees the journey as physically and morally perilous—not just because of natural dangers (like wild seas or mountains) but because of the predatory behavior of foreign men.

He believes true love can endure separation and prefers distance over risking her purity and their secret love. Love, for him, is deeply emotional but must bow to reason.

 

Theme 2: Love as Memory and Mind

Another theme is that of love as an internal experience—not needing physical presence. The speaker suggests that his mistress can remain with him “in thought,” and that spiritual unity is enough. He even romanticizes death, saying that if she dies before him, his soul will fly to her from far away. In this, Donne elevates love beyond bodily desire to a form of mental and eternal connection.

 

Theme 3: Deception and Disguise

Donne touches on the idea of disguise—his mistress dressing as a pageboy to travel with him incognito. But he quickly discourages this, arguing that true identity cannot be hidden. Her face, grace, and feminine features would betray her. He uses metaphors to suggest that appearances can only conceal so much: “Richly-clothed apes are still apes,” and “the Moon is still the Moon,” even when obscured.

This theme develops into a broader commentary on social perception, gender, and reputation—especially in a patriarchal world.

 

Theme 4: Foreignness and Sexual Threat

Donne critiques the moral corruption he associates with European countries. The French are described as fashion-obsessed and diseased, the Italians as lustful, and the Dutch as bloated and greedy. These portrayals reflect Elizabethan English prejudices and anxieties about travel and foreign influence.

His concern is not just that his mistress may be harmed, but also that her virtue and their private love could be exposed or destroyed. He even alludes to the biblical story of Lot’s guests being attacked—warning that her safety cannot be ensured among lustful strangers.

 

Tone and Emotional Progression

The speaker begins with emotional recollection of their past love—then moves into reasoned pleading, and eventually to vivid warnings of potential harm. The poem ends on a spiritually reflective note. He asks her to dream of him as happy and not cry out in grief or fear. His parting wish is that she imagines his safety unless the gods think that just having had her love was enough for his life.

This emotional progression mirrors real human relationships—from romance to realism to resignation.

 

Style and Literary Devices

Dramatic Monologue: The poem is one long address to the mistress, using the format of an intense, personal soliloquy.

Metaphor & Conceit: Donne uses extended metaphors, such as comparing her to the Moon or love to a gallery in which she walks. His “metaphysical conceits” are clever, complex, and deeply imaginative.

Allusion: He refers to Boreas and Oreithea (Greek mythology), Lot (from the Bible), and even possibly God or Christ as “our greatest King.”

Irony: Despite being a love poem, he tells his beloved not to be with him—a paradox that underlines the tension between desire and responsibility.

Religious and Spiritual Imagery: The ending invokes Jupiter (a pagan god) and the concept of destiny or divine will, suggesting that even love is subject to greater powers.

 

Contextual Insight

Written during the Renaissance period, Donne’s poetry often reflects the tensions of his time: passion versus morality, body versus soul, reason versus emotion. He was known for his metaphysical poetry, characterized by wit, intellectualism, and elaborate conceits. This poem, like many of his elegies, might have been circulated privately rather than intended for publication, allowing for its more personal and bold expressions.

Additionally, the idea of a woman disguising herself as a man was common in Shakespearean drama, and Donne likely plays off this trope only to subvert it—arguing that women cannot (and should not) escape their identity just to follow love.

 

Conclusion

"Elegy: 16. On His Mistress" is a layered poem in which John Donne combines romantic memory, intellectual reasoning, and cultural caution. It’s not a celebration of sensual love, but a passionate and rational argument for protecting love through distance, and valuing spiritual connection above physical proximity. The poem is at once tender and wise, cautionary and loving—a testament to Donne’s unique poetic voice.

 

Possible Exam Questions

 

What is the central theme of Elegy: 16. On His Mistress?

A) Celebration of courtly love

B) Warning against physical love

C) Plea for spiritual love and caution against danger

D) Satire on marriage

 

Which of the following is not a country mentioned in the poem?

A) France

B) Spain

C) Italy

D) Holland

 

What classical myth is referenced in the poem?

A) Cupid and Psyche

B) Boreas and Oreithea

C) Apollo and Daphne

D) Orpheus and Eurydice

 

What biblical story is alluded to when describing the dangers of lustful men?

A) Abraham’s sacrifice

B) Lot and his guests

C) Jonah and the whale

D) David and Bathsheba

 

What tone best describes the speaker’s attitude throughout the poem?

A) Indifferent and cold

B) Angry and mocking

C) Tender yet persuasive

D) Joyful and humorous

 

Why does the speaker ask his mistress not to accompany him on his journey?

 

How does Donne use imagery to emphasize the danger of foreign lands?

 

What role does disguise play in the poem, and why does the speaker reject it?

 

Briefly explain the significance of the final couplet in the poem.

 

What does the speaker mean when he says: “Dissemble nothing, not a boy, nor change / Thy body’s habit…”?

 

Discuss the theme of love and separation in John Donne’s Elegy: 16. On His Mistress.

 

Consider how the speaker reconciles passion with caution and spiritual unity with physical absence.

 

Analyze the poet’s attitude toward women, disguise, and foreign culture in the poem.

 

Refer to how Donne portrays his mistress, the idea of pretending to be a page, and his view of France, Italy, and Holland.

 

Examine how Donne uses metaphysical elements and literary devices to persuade his mistress.

 

Look at conceits, mythological and biblical allusions, and rhetorical strategies used in the poem.

 

“To love truly is not always to be together.” — Do you agree, based on Donne’s Elegy: 16? Give reasons.

 

Discuss whether the speaker’s plea for separation is a form of love or abandonment.

 

How does Donne balance intellect and emotion in On His Mistress?

 

Discuss how he uses reason, argument, and emotional memory in persuading his lover.