A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning by John Donne (Poem, Summary, Paraphrase, Analysis & Questions)

 

A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning

by John Donne

(Poem, Summary, Paraphrase, Analysis & Questions) 

A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning

As virtuous men pass mildly away,

And whisper to their souls to go,

Whilst some of their sad friends do say,

“The breath goes now,” and some say, “No,”

 

So let us melt, and make no noise,

No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;

’Twere profanation of our joys

To tell the laity our love.

 

Moving of th’ earth brings harms and fears,

Men reckon what it did, and meant;

But trepidation of the spheres,

Though greater far, is innocent.

 

Dull sublunary lovers’ love

(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit

Absence, because it doth remove

Those things which elemented it.

 

But we, by a love so much refined,

That ourselves know not what it is,

Inter-assurèd of the mind,

Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.

 

Our two souls therefore, which are one,

Though I must go, endure not yet

A breach, but an expansion,

Like gold to airy thinness beat.

 

If they be two, they are two so

As stiff twin compasses are two;

Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show

To move, but doth, if the other do.

 

And though it in the centre sit,

Yet when the other far doth roam,

It leans and hearkens after it,

And grows erect as that comes home.

 

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,

Like th’ other foot, obliquely run;

Thy firmness makes my circle just,

And makes me end where I begun.

 

Summary

Stanza 1

The speaker compares his quiet and peaceful parting from his beloved to the calm and dignified death of virtuous men. Just as good men pass away without drama, so should they part without sorrow or noise.

 

Stanza 2

He asks that they separate quietly and without loud expressions of grief—no crying or sighing. To make a public display of their love would be to treat it as something ordinary or shallow, which it is not.

 

Stanza 3

The speaker says that physical movements of the earth (like earthquakes) cause fear and concern because they are noticeable. But greater celestial movements (like those of the planets) go unnoticed and cause no alarm. He suggests that their separation, though significant, should be calm and invisible like those greater motions.

 

Stanza 4

He contrasts their spiritual love with that of ordinary lovers, whose love is based on physical presence and senses. Such lovers suffer when they are apart because their love depends on being physically together.

 

Stanza 5

He says their love is so pure and refined that even they cannot fully understand it. Because it is a deep connection of the mind and spirit, they do not need physical closeness to maintain it.

 

Stanza 6

He states that their souls are united as one. Although he must leave, their souls are not being torn apart—instead, they stretch and expand like gold being beaten into a thin sheet, still whole and unbroken.

 

Stanza 7

He uses the image of a compass (the drawing tool) to explain their connection. Though a compass has two legs, they are part of one instrument. One foot stays in place (his beloved), while the other moves around (the speaker), yet they remain connected.

 

Stanza 8

Even when the moving leg of the compass roams far, it leans toward the fixed foot and remains connected. As the moving foot returns, the fixed one straightens, symbolizing the supportive and responsive nature of their bond.

 

Stanza 9

The speaker concludes that his beloved will be like the fixed foot of the compass—steady and firm. Her constancy will guide him back, just as the compass’s legs form a perfect circle, returning to the starting point. Their love, though briefly stretched, will always be complete and united again.

 

Line-by-line Paraphrase

Stanza 1

As virtuous men pass mildly away,

Just as good men die calmly,

 

And whisper to their souls to go,

And gently release their souls without resistance,

 

Whilst some of their sad friends do say,

While their sorrowful friends around them say,

 

“The breath goes now,” and some say, “No,”

"He's dying now," and others say, "Not yet."

 

Stanza 2

So let us melt, and make no noise,

Let us part quietly, like melting away,

 

No tear-floods, nor sigh-tempests move;

Without crying or sighing like storms,

 

’Twere profanation of our joys

Showing our love openly would be disrespectful,

 

To tell the laity our love.

As if we were revealing something sacred to ordinary people.

 

Stanza 3

Moving of th’ earth brings harms and fears,

Earthquakes scare people and cause damage,

 

Men reckon what it did, and meant;

People try to figure out what they mean,

 

But trepidation of the spheres,

But the movement of the planets,

 

Though greater far, is innocent.

Though much larger, goes unnoticed and causes no harm.

 

Stanza 4

Dull sublunary lovers’ love

Unrefined love that exists under the moon (earthly, physical love)

 

(Whose soul is sense) cannot admit

Which depends on physical senses, cannot bear

 

Absence, because it doth remove

Being apart, because absence takes away

 

Those things which elemented it.

The physical parts their love is made of.

 

Stanza 5

But we, by a love so much refined,

But our love is so pure and spiritual,

 

That ourselves know not what it is,

That even we can't fully explain it,

 

Inter-assurèd of the mind,

Because our minds are joined in complete trust,

 

Care less, eyes, lips, and hands to miss.

We don’t worry about being without physical contact.

 

Stanza 6

Our two souls therefore, which are one,

Our two souls are actually one soul,

 

Though I must go, endure not yet

So even though I must leave, they don't suffer

 

A breach, but an expansion,

A break—but only a stretching,

 

Like gold to airy thinness beat.

Like gold that is stretched very thin without breaking.

 

Stanza 7

If they be two, they are two so

If our souls are two separate things, they are so

 

As stiff twin compasses are two;

Like the two legs of a compass (used for drawing circles),

 

Thy soul, the fixed foot, makes no show

Your soul is like the leg that stays in place,

 

To move, but doth, if the other do.

It seems still but moves slightly when the other leg moves.

 

Stanza 8

And though it in the centre sit,

Even though it stands at the center,

 

Yet when the other far doth roam,

When the other leg moves far away,

 

It leans and hearkens after it,

It bends toward it and follows its movement,

 

And grows erect as that comes home.

And becomes upright again when the moving leg returns.

 

Stanza 9

Such wilt thou be to me, who must,

That is how you will be to me, since I must

 

Like th’ other foot, obliquely run;

Go away and move in a wide circle like the moving leg,

 

Thy firmness makes my circle just,

Your steadiness ensures my path is true,

 

And makes me end where I begun.

And brings me back to where I started—back to you.

 

Analysis in Detail

This poem is a valediction, meaning a farewell. Donne wrote it to comfort his wife, Anne, before leaving on a journey. Rather than focusing on sadness or loss, he reassures her that their love is strong, spiritual, and capable of withstanding physical separation. He "forbids mourning" because he believes their love is not diminished by absence.

 

Theme and Message

The main theme of the poem is spiritual love that transcends physical presence. Donne distinguishes between superficial, physical love and deep, eternal love based on the union of minds and souls. He argues that true love is not weakened by distance; rather, it expands and deepens.

 

Other themes include:

The dignity of quiet suffering (as seen in virtuous men dying peacefully)

The unity of souls in love

Constancy and fidelity during separation

Love as a metaphysical force not bound by earthly constraints

 

Tone and Mood

The tone is calm, tender, and reassuring. Donne does not dramatize the pain of parting; instead, he gently lifts the emotional weight, urging his beloved to stay composed. The poem avoids passionate declarations or grief; instead, it celebrates a mature, intellectual love.

 

Imagery and Metaphysical Elements

Donne, as a Metaphysical poet, blends abstract ideas with vivid imagery:

1. Death Imagery (Stanza 1)

He begins with the image of virtuous men dying quietly to illustrate how they, too, should part quietly. Death here is not frightening—it’s natural and peaceful. This prepares the emotional setting of serene farewell.

 

2. Earthquake vs. Planetary Motion (Stanza 3)

He compares dramatic earthly events (earthquakes) to imperceptible yet vast celestial movements (trepidation of the spheres). Earthquakes symbolize shallow love that causes panic, whereas planetary motion symbolizes their elevated, unnoticed spiritual love.

 

3. Gold Beat to Airy Thinness (Stanza 6)

This is one of Donne’s most famous metaphysical conceits. He compares their souls to gold being hammered thin without breaking. This powerful image suggests that distance doesn’t damage their bond; it stretches it into something rarer and more expansive.

 

4. Compass Metaphor (Stanzas 7–9)

Perhaps the poem’s most celebrated conceit. Donne compares their souls to the two legs of a compass: one stays fixed while the other moves in a circle. Despite the movement, both are always connected. The moving leg (Donne) is guided by the still leg (his wife), and ultimately returns to it. This metaphor captures fidelity, guidance, and unity.

 

Intellectual and Philosophical Depth

The poem reflects Donne’s intellectualism and spiritual view of love. Instead of emotion-driven parting scenes, he offers logical arguments and abstract reasoning to show why they should not mourn. He uplifts their love into the realm of the metaphysical—that is, beyond the physical world.

He draws on scientific, religious, and philosophical concepts, such as:

The immortality of the soul

Aristotelian astronomy (with "trepidation of the spheres")

Alchemical ideas (in the gold metaphor)

Renaissance humanism, which valued mind over matter

 

Structure and Form

The poem has nine quatrains (4-line stanzas), with an ABAB rhyme scheme. The regular form reflects the harmony and balance in the lovers’ relationship. The meter is mostly iambic tetrameter (four feet per line), giving it a light, musical rhythm suitable for a love poem, but also serious and thoughtful.

The argument builds logically:

Don’t mourn.

Our love is unlike others’.

We are spiritually united.

Even distance affirms our bond.

Each stanza advances the thought with a fresh comparison or justification.

 

Use of Conceits and Symbolism

Donne’s conceits (extended metaphors) are intellectually daring but grounded in love:

Gold symbolizes a precious, malleable, and unbreakable connection.

The compass shows how two beings can be apart yet united in purpose and movement.

Planetary vs. Earthly motion illustrates the difference between shallow and profound love.

These conceits are not just poetic flourishes—they are the philosophical foundation of the poem’s message.

 

Conclusion

In A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning, Donne redefines the idea of separation—not as a source of sorrow but as an opportunity to prove the strength of spiritual love. Through calm tone, elegant metaphors, and intellectual depth, he comforts his beloved (and perhaps himself), affirming that love does not end when presence does.

 

Possible Exam Questions

What does the poet mean by "tear-floods" and "sigh-tempests"?

 

How does Donne compare his parting with his beloved to the death of virtuous men?

 

Explain the significance of the gold metaphor in the poem.

 

What is meant by "trepidation of the spheres"?

 

What kind of love does Donne refer to as “dull sublunary”?

 

What is the function of the compass conceit in the poem?

 

How does Donne distinguish his love from ordinary lovers’ love?

 

What does the poet forbid in the title A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning?

 

How does the image of planetary motion support the speaker’s argument?

 

Explain the phrase "Inter-assurèd of the mind."

 

Discuss the central theme of A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning.

 

How does John Donne justify the lovers’ separation in the poem?

 

Examine the use of metaphysical conceits in the poem with examples.

 

In what ways does Donne elevate spiritual love over physical love in the poem?

 

Describe how Donne blends science, philosophy, and emotion in A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning.

 

“Our two souls therefore, which are one” – Discuss the significance of this line in the context of the poem.

 

Analyze the poet’s tone and attitude towards parting in A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning.

 

How does the compass image symbolize constancy in love?

 

What role does reason and intellect play in the way Donne presents love in the poem?

 

Write a critical appreciation of A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning, focusing on its imagery and metaphysical style.

 

Discuss Donne’s treatment of love in the poem with reference to key metaphors.

 

How does Donne use calm logic and philosophical reasoning to comfort his beloved in this farewell poem?

 

Examine the interplay between form, tone, and argument in A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning.

 

Give a detailed commentary on the stanza beginning:

“If they be two, they are two so / As stiff twin compasses are two.”