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Humour Quotes - Dreams Like a Podcast

 

Humour Quotes

Dreams Like a Podcast 

“Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.”

― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

 

“I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?”

― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

 

“What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?”

― Charles M. Schulz

 

“Dreams like a podcast,

Downloading truth in my ears.

They tell me cool stuff."

"Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.

He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."

"A god named Fred?”

― Rick Riordan

 

“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”

― Dorothy Parker

 

“Beautiful face. Beautiful body. Horrible attitude. It was the holy trinity of hot boys.”

― Jennifer L. Armentrout, Obsidian

 

“Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee

And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.”

― Robert Frost

 

“From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!”

― Dr. Seuss, One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

 

“Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention.”

― Christopher Paolini

 

“I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me."

"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.”

― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

 

“I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.”

― Oscar Wilde

 

“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”

― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

 

“It's not gray," Clary felt compelled to point out. "It's green."

"If there was such a thing as terminal literalism, you'd have died in childhood," said Jace.”

― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

 

“I don't want tea," said Clary, with muffled force. "I want to find my mother. And then I want to find out who took her in the first place, and I want to kill them."

"Unfortunately," said Hodge, "we're all out of bitter revenge at the moment, so it's either tea or nothing.”

― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

 

“I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”

― Mae West

 

“Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.”

― George Bernard Shaw

 

“You're an idiot."

"I've never claimed to be otherwise.”

― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

 

“Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.”

― Orson Welles

 

“I love books, by the way, way more than movies. Movies tell you what to think. A good book lets you choose a few thoughts for yourself. Movies show you the pink house. A good book tells you there's a pink house and lets you paint some of the finishing touches, maybe choose the roof style, park your own car out front. My imagination has always topped anything a movie could come up with. Case in point, those darned Harry Potter movies. That was so not what that part-Veela-chick, Fleur Delacour, looked like.”

― Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever

 

“I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent!”

― Dr. Seuss, Horton Hatches the Egg

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