Of Marriage and Single Life
by
Francis Bacon
(Essay)
He that hath wife and children hath given
hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of
virtue or mischief. Certainly, the best works, and of greatest merit for the
public, have proceeded from the unmarried or childless men; which, both in
affection and means, have married and endowed the public. Yet it were great
reason that those that have children should have greatest care of future times,
unto which they know they must transmit their dearest pledges. Some there are,
who, though they lead a single life, yet their thoughts do end with themselves,
and account future times impertinences; nay, there are some other that account
wife and children but as bills of charges; nay more, there are some foolish
rich covetous men, that take a pride in having no children, because they may be
thought so much the richer; for, perhaps, they have heard some talk, "Such
an one's a great rich man" and another except to it. "Yea, but he
hath a great charge of children;" as if it were an abatement to his
riches: but the most ordinary cause of a single life is liberty, especially in
certain self-pleasing and humorous minds, which are so sensible of every
restraint, as they will go near to think heir girdles and garters to be bonds
and shackles. Unmarried men are best friends, best masters, best servants; but
not always best subjects; for they are light to run away; and almost all
fugitives are of that condition. A single life doth well with churchmen, for
charity will hardly water the ground where it must first fill a pool. It is
indifferent for judges and magistrates; for if they be facile and corrupt, you
shall have a servant five times worse than a wife. For soldiers, I find the
generals commonly, in their hortatives, put men in mind of their wives and
children; and I think the despising of marriage among the Turks maketh the
vulgar soldier more base. Certainly wife and children are a kind of discipline
of humanity; and single men, though they may be many times more charitable,
because their means are less exhaust, yet, on the other side, they are more
cruel and hardhearted, (good to make severe inquisitors,) because their
tenderness is not so oft called upon. Grave natures, led by custom, and
therefore constant, are commonly loving husbands, as was said of Ulysses,
"vetulam suam prætulit immortalitati." Chaste women are often proud
and froward, as presuming upon the merit of their chastity. It is one of the
best bonds, both of chastity and obedience, in the wife, if she think her
husband wise; which she will never do if she find him jealous. Wives are young
men's mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men's nurses; so as a man
may have a quarrel to marry when he will: but yet he was reputed one of the
wise men, that made answer to the question when a man should marry:—"A
young man not yet, an elder man not at all." It is often seen, that bad
husbands have very good wives; whether it be that it raiseth the price of their
husband's kindness when it comes, or that the wives take a pride in their
patience; but this never fails, if the bad husbands were of their own choosing,
against their friends’ consent, for then they will be sure to make good their
own folly.
){kind=link}
0 Comments